Holly, this is so raw, and honest, I applaud you for digging so deep, to share what you learned about yourself, and about non-substance addictions. It takes real courage and self-awareness to write about, let alone share a story like yours. I think you will help others too, by releasing it into the wild.
I could have easily had the same story. Both activities I enjoy, but I was always too broke to get into either as far as I could have. But I relate to the compulsion, and to how easy it is to get caught in the illusions of both as harmless. The intent to hook people is baked in to both, it's bait that is easily taken. Thanks again for sharing this.
Thank you. I hope it helps someone. It's so damaging, yet it's not taken seriously. I'm glad you were not able to get caught up in it. It's difficult for many people to see when it's gone from a harmless hobby to something more.
Thank you for sharing this part of your struggle and how you're continuing to overcome. For a while in my early 20s when I had gotten my first real job at Walmart, I got into the habit of buying scratch off lottery tickets- 1, 2, 5 bucks. You win enough that you don't feel like you're dropping a lot of money but it adds up. Don't think I plunged all the way into addiction but I can understand the rush of the excitement of winning.
Thank you. Yes, that rush is from your brain releasing dopamine. It's incredibly easy for some folks to get addicted to it. It's good that you recognized it early.
This reminds me of something I likely should have included in the post. I worked in a casino for a little while during my gaming addiction. I was called a Gaming Host. It is basically someone who helps people with slots, pays out winnings, and just goes around and sort of "celebrates" with people in the casino. It's how I came to realize my gaming addiction had spawned a gambling addiction. This job actually trained me on how to spot gambling addicts because the casino didn't allow suspected gambling addicts to play.
I quickly realized 1) I was displaying all of the behaviors we had been trained to look for in gambling addicts. 2) I got a rush just from watching other people win, and then it made me want to win my own. So it fed my addiction because I'd want even more to get home, get in game, and gamble.
Thank you. Identifying it was the hard part. I definitely had the stereotypical everyone around me calling me an addict before I acknowledged it to myself timeline. Then, even after I acknowledged what it was, I still couldn't stop. But I guess that's also what makes it an addiction and not just a bad habit.
Thank you. ♡ Yes, it is. My mind tends to work in metaphors, and I didn't even realize till after writing this that I kept using consuming and eating imagery to describe addiction. I've done that for a long while.
A raw and heartbreaking account. Thanks for being vulnerable, Holly. I'm sure your words will resonate with many people. They do with me. Addiction, substance or behavioural, is utterly crippling.
Holly, this is so raw, and honest, I applaud you for digging so deep, to share what you learned about yourself, and about non-substance addictions. It takes real courage and self-awareness to write about, let alone share a story like yours. I think you will help others too, by releasing it into the wild.
I could have easily had the same story. Both activities I enjoy, but I was always too broke to get into either as far as I could have. But I relate to the compulsion, and to how easy it is to get caught in the illusions of both as harmless. The intent to hook people is baked in to both, it's bait that is easily taken. Thanks again for sharing this.
Thank you. I hope it helps someone. It's so damaging, yet it's not taken seriously. I'm glad you were not able to get caught up in it. It's difficult for many people to see when it's gone from a harmless hobby to something more.
Thank you so much for sharing, Holly.
Thank you for sharing this part of your struggle and how you're continuing to overcome. For a while in my early 20s when I had gotten my first real job at Walmart, I got into the habit of buying scratch off lottery tickets- 1, 2, 5 bucks. You win enough that you don't feel like you're dropping a lot of money but it adds up. Don't think I plunged all the way into addiction but I can understand the rush of the excitement of winning.
Thank you. Yes, that rush is from your brain releasing dopamine. It's incredibly easy for some folks to get addicted to it. It's good that you recognized it early.
This reminds me of something I likely should have included in the post. I worked in a casino for a little while during my gaming addiction. I was called a Gaming Host. It is basically someone who helps people with slots, pays out winnings, and just goes around and sort of "celebrates" with people in the casino. It's how I came to realize my gaming addiction had spawned a gambling addiction. This job actually trained me on how to spot gambling addicts because the casino didn't allow suspected gambling addicts to play.
I quickly realized 1) I was displaying all of the behaviors we had been trained to look for in gambling addicts. 2) I got a rush just from watching other people win, and then it made me want to win my own. So it fed my addiction because I'd want even more to get home, get in game, and gamble.
Definitely a behavioural addiction. Meets all the usual criteria. Glad you have identified the addictions, and found ways to cope.
Thank you. Identifying it was the hard part. I definitely had the stereotypical everyone around me calling me an addict before I acknowledged it to myself timeline. Then, even after I acknowledged what it was, I still couldn't stop. But I guess that's also what makes it an addiction and not just a bad habit.
Addiction is a horrific, sneaky, all devouring monster. So glad you're doing better now 🖤
Thank you. ♡ Yes, it is. My mind tends to work in metaphors, and I didn't even realize till after writing this that I kept using consuming and eating imagery to describe addiction. I've done that for a long while.
A raw and heartbreaking account. Thanks for being vulnerable, Holly. I'm sure your words will resonate with many people. They do with me. Addiction, substance or behavioural, is utterly crippling.